Diary of An Irish Woman

musings of an irish lady now living in America.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Rant on breast pumps

Ok, it might seem weird for a blog post but for the LOVE of all that's holy can't they come out with a breast pump with following features

1- how about an off/on switch that I can turn on and off without performing yoga expert poses with my nose, elbow, knee ?

Sewing machines have a foot pump since the 1920's why can't we have a foot pump to turn it on and off?

I don't know how many girlfriends have told me about them trying to turn on and off with knees and elbows and spilling that precious milk doing so. And we all know how upsetting dropping the liquid white gold is!

2- If I have both pumps on each breast, what third arm do you think I'm using to power this puppy on and off Mr BreastPump inventor?
Never mind 4th arm to turn the strength up ? I won't even mention the let down button.

It has now become the job of my two year old son to hit the button when it goes to the let down aka slower flow button. He hears the noise change and dashes in to 'help Mammy hit button to go back to let down quicker mode'

I'm sure the therapy he needs later on in helping Mammy pump, will be offset by the rest of the issues he gets from us ;) again foot pump people. Or even voice control? Maybe an iPhone App hah?

3 - would it hurt to have soft flexible cups instead of hard plastic. They have soft cups only on one model In 24 - the smallest size and none other. I'm not a small size. I'm not 24. Neither are most women. I'm the kind of size cup size wise where it's at least half way down the alphabet. :)

So hands free bras don't work for me for pumping and the hard cups on pumps are SO far away from an infants mouth it's hard to think who designed this but a man with serious issues re actually checking out what breast feeding actually entails and what modern materials have come into use in last say 50 years!

Right now I'm pumping with full strength on from start while I try and position my breats in middle and not get my toes yanked through my head. Never mind at night. There's another idea - night lights built in the pump.

So medela, avent, evenflo listen up. Time to rework your version of the pumps. Or maybe we just need the Dyson guy to rework breast pumps.


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